Climbing the Everest of Grief: Louisa Zondo Details Her Journey As a Mother Still Bleeding For Her Late Son Riky Rick
Grief born from the loss of a loved one, whether family or friend, is a mountain that towers above all other things. It is the first thing one is forced to look at with every sunrise and the final reality one has to consider when one looks at its looming shape when the moon is at its brightest.
It is with poetic justice that Louisa Zondo, the mother of late hip-hop star Riky Rick, fleshes out her journey as a woman grieving her son by beginning her memoir with recollections and epistolary reflections to Boss Zonke amid her expedition to Mount. Everest. In her book published via Jacana Media, Dearest MaRiky: A Mother’s Journey Through Grief, Trauma and Healing, Zondo is candid about what a daunting task it has been for her to face this mountain whilst being upfront about the difficulty of having to go back in time to conquer lesser – but still treacherous – mountains to truly stand a chance against the biggest one.
More than merely a compilation of fond memories, Dearest MaRiky is a confrontation of past hurts. The book attempts to put into words the subtle art of self-interrogation when it comes to addressing repressed traumas without self-condemning.
People grieve differently. Louisa affords that fact respect throughout the book, handling political and her own personal traumas and injustices with kid gloves. She does this by giving the reader a long-winded tour down memory lane, a road that traverses major life events in her adult life before ending at the blind alley of her childhood.
Along the way, Louisa employs dexterous prose to retell stories about how she got her wounds and what went through her mind leading up to her slapping bandages on them without properly treating them. In the memoir, she shamelessly unwraps these bandages to expose and clean out the rot as a lesson for those who might be going through the same thing. And in all this, she doesn’t martyr herself; rather, she shows herself patience.
Although the title takes after the Cotton Fest founding father, Riky is a recurrent character in the memoir. He makes cameo-like appearances as either a daring child calling his mother’s workplace because of a fish finger endeavour or a sensitive kid living in the shadow of his older brother.
It isn’t until the latter parts of the book that Riky breaks free from the constraints of vignettes. In the construction of the book, Riky might not be found in every cogwheel that keeps the story in motion, but he is the motor that keeps everything spinning – his death being the ignition that started the chain reaction.
The majority of the story takes place in Louisa’s past. Dearest MaRiky portrays Louisa as a woman forced to plumb the depths of her sorrows and being made to dive deep into herself to draw out every form of resentment, bitterness, and pain which came as a result of marital physical and emotional abuse and being a victim of crime and violence, among other things.
Louisa’s vulnerability and bravery offer a helping hand to those who might be too scared to walk through the unthinkable yet oh-so-so-very-real path of having to mourn the loss of their child. By being honest about her pain, confusion, and despair, she offers guidance by throwing herself into a test tube, allowing everyone to see what grief is doing to her and what steps she took to deal with the challenges.
Dearest MaRiky might not be a step-by-step guide giving the right directions around the maze of trauma and the loss of a loved one. What it is, however, is a manual of gentle self-talk and how to heal with time.
Like every other mountain and hard-level maze, grief is something that some conquer while others don’t. Some know what it’s like to get to the top or the end, while others give up on the way. Through the book, Louisa demonstrates that what matters is neither beating the mountain nor finding the end of the maze. What matters is taking the first step and keeping going.
