Pilani Bubu Talks Ghosting, The Silver Lining of The Pandemic, Working With Global Creatives and Future Plans In An Exclusive Interview With Frontpage.
One of the most daunting realities of modern-day relationships is the irresponsible culture of “ghosting”, which in hindsight has been prevalent for aeons; it just changed terminology throughout linguistic history. Of all the relationship types that filter the experience of being young in the 21st century, long-distance relationships were particularly struck the most in our recent 2.5-year stint with the COVID-19 pandemic.
Award-winning Singer-Songwriter, TV Presenter, Publisher and Creative Entrepreneur Pilani Bubu coloured the soundscape of post-pandemic music with an endearing tale of heartbreak that took place during lockdown, confronting the perils of ghosting. I had the pleasure to unpack the themes of healing, validation, modern-day relationships, working with creatives worldwide, the power of the tongue and her excitement for full-house performances in the near future as lockdown regulations continue to ease.
Lockdown Lovestory is a tale of two lovers jeopardised by distance and lockdown as inspired by personal experience. How well has the process of making the EP ushered you into a place of healing and validation?
It has been cathartic. The honesty and rawness of which I expressed my emotions was indeed a way of healing. I am also comforted by the fact that I know a lot of people who resonate with this storyline. The speed of a relationship, the resultant ghosting.
Modern Day relationships are marked with very weird communication lines. Now add the complexity of the Lockdown and the trauma of a pandemic and see where love lands you. Funny, the more things seemed to change, the more they stayed the same.
My healing has come from the process of writing itself, taking pages off my journal and sharing this brief chapter musically. Music is healing, no doubt, and the validation in it all is its point of resonance. Bringing people into my lockdown love story has also been a platform from which we can close an old chapter and start a new one.
I have been bold in its visual storytelling to express the sense of courage and love versus fear that we will have to have in our brave new post-pandemic mode.
One of the EP’s themes is ghosting. I have an issue with ghosting being normalised as it strips humanity of much-needed accountability. What do you think fails us emotionally to be in a space where we can admit that we might not have mutual feelings for the person we eventually ghost?
I, too, have a serious issue with the rude, dishonour the cancel culture and ghosting presents. It’s a lack of honesty, respect and bravery if you ask me.
Human beings in 2022 still have to learn true interpersonal and communication skills. It is almost sad when people are taken to Inertia and paralysis when it comes to telling people how they truly feel.
At times, it’s not even a matter if he/ she is not that into you. People are going through their own trauma and pain bodies that may have been triggered by something with in the relationship.
In my experience, if the relationship moves too fast, it may cause panic. If you remind someone of an experience that ended badly, even though the trigger comes from a beautiful place – the feelings of deep love, the familiarity of the person That, too, can send another running.
We all just need to be more vulnerable and allow the novelty of a new process in relating with others to heal itself through honesty and the articulations and acts of mutual respect.
There is an isiZulu phrase, “umlomo uyadala.” Being aware of the power you yield as a creator and a writer, are you afraid of the realities you create through your writing?
I am always fully awake to my articulations as a storyteller. I focus a lot on reflection and revelation, bringing meaning to my own lived experiences and empowering others with my insights and learnings.
I am very rarely prophetic in my tone and expression because I genuinely, 100% of the time, telling my own story as it has passed through me. I do not fear my inscriptions because I have lived them and thought them over and over. I believe them to be validated ad truths to be explored.
It is quite a privilege to be working with musicians and producers from around the world. Would you say that has been one of the silver linings of creating during a pandemic?
Absolutely, having the time in lockdown to honour collaborations and be able to finesse communication between studios so far apart was quite an experience. One I am truly grateful for and would not trade for anything.
Working with Afronautiq, without having met him and reconnecting with working with people I trust to jump on and produce their parts of the project, developed so much trust and a new way in my creative collaboration process for sure.
The National State of Disaster has been lifted, and you are getting into the swing of being on the road again. How do you feel about having full house sold out shows again
There is still a lot that the local entertainment industry has to recover. We have to get people to make live music and arts culture a lifestyle again. If people struggled with it before in SA, choosing to stay home over visiting the theatre, choosing the value of a R150 burger over R150 show with a 7 piece band. I am more concerned about reminding them to go out and support the arts and building a new value proposition with them through uniquely curated experiences. Then eventually, we will have these full houses and find our value restored in the music industry.
I am excited about being able to travel and tour across this continent and more again. I have missed that, and I have jumped in fully. We curated a Lockdown Lovestory tour that expressed this sense of reunion and restoration: going around Nationally in SA, Touring East and West Africa again—now headed to Europe soon.
