“Like a Phoenix That Rises from the Ashes”: Tivania Moodley Shares A Piece of Her Life Story Through Her Book “Girl on Fire”
Born in Pietermaritzburg and bred in Johannesburg, the life story of self-published author Tivania Moodley has been one for the books, and as poetic justice would have it, that’s exactly what has happened.
Tivania’s journey as a published writer began in the beginning of her fourties, a true testament to the old Zulu idiom that “isina muva liyabukwa”: the late bloomer grabs the most attention or produces more. Her memoir Girl On Fire parallels her life to that of a phoenix, having gone through the flames of suicide, rape, miscarriages and gender-based violence, only for her mind to emerge renewed and her strength refined by the very challenges which threatened her existence.
“Girl on Fire is my autobiography and recounts my life experiences and transformation. Like the phoenix that rises from the ashes? That’s me. I had a failed suicide attempt nine years ago, and part of my healing process is to give dignity to my life experiences and use those lessons to offer hope and inspiration to people in need. So, five years ago, I did just that and published my journey and how I got to become this woman,” she said.
As heavy as the choice of subject matters has been in the making of Girl On Fire, Tivania pulled no punches, staying faithful to herself as a self-confessed “purveyor of hope” and truth-teller. She spared not even herself when it came to dissecting issues most in society shy away from. Her motivation? That through destigmatising the narratives appendant to such societal ills, conversations could be had to hearten people and show those going through the worst that they could still make the best out of the worst possible situation.
“I wrote Girl On Fire to create advocacy around mental health issues and gender-based violence. We don’t have the hard conversations enough. We don’t speak our truth enough, and we become as sick as our secrets. I wanted to make sure that my truth and my story counted for something, and that was to show someone how life can change and you can heal from trauma and still thrive,” she said.
As much as she wrestled with life, there was also an ongoing battle going on in her head about the writing of the book, as it happens with most writers. The book was half a decade in the making, being refined in the crucible of her fingers before she took it upon herself to sit down and get it done over Christmas holidays.
“So the motivation to write the book took five years. I kept doubting myself and didn’t believe my words had value. When I made the decision to do it, it was over Christmas, I was alone at home and wrote the book end-to-end in two weeks. It was cathartic because I channelled all my pain and my pride into it. The greatest challenge was silencing the demon that waged war in my own head. When I switched the narrative and made my intention about honouring me, I was able to do it,” she said.
Moodley, once the book was ready, went the indie route after struggling to finding support from publishing houses. Yet, even as a rookie, she’s had the run of a vet, with her book earning her accolades as well as multiple print runs.
“I self-published because the process was so much easier and one that I could control. Sadly, publishing houses don’t give too much support to new authors. That being said, I had the most amazing experience with my publisher, who helped to market my book as well. Despite being a newbie, I still sold out two print runs of my book, and won two awards,” she said.
In the words of English writer Neil Gaiman, “A book is a dream that you hold in your hands.” For Tivania, getting to hold her dream took a quarter century, and with the milestone has come memories she holds just as dearly close to her heart.
“The first memorable moment of getting the book published was literally holding the first copy of my book and realising that a 25-year dream came true. The second moment was when a gentleman contacted me after reading my book and told me that my story talked him out of suicide. Finally, it was being honoured with the AfriCAN Authors Award for women empowerment,” she said.
Looking to the future and true to her vision as a mental health advocate, she has set her sights on penning another book that focuses on the subject matter.
“I’d like to publish another book that speaks about life after healing and staying on that trajectory of being awake and conscious. More than that, I’d love to give young women permission to honour their craft and art through storytelling,” she said.
Connect with Tivania:
Website: www.tivaniamoodley.co.za
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tivania_moodley/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tivaniamoodley